As much as we love online dating, sometimes it’s good to get out and about and meet people in the real world. Parties are a great opportunity to meet new people, especially house parties, but they do have their drawbacks.
1.Have reasonable expectations
A party should be a fun activity in itself. While you may have an ulterior motive of wanting to meet someone special, chances are that if you expect an event to deliver such a person every time you go out, you may well be disappointed. You never know where your next relationship will come from, so be content with expanding your social circle, meeting new people and having a good evening. Such expectations can surely be met at just about any party.
2.Help yourself feel comfortable
If you feel confident, you’re bound to do better when talking to new people, especially if you’re trying to charm them into getting to know you. Take the time to make an effort to feel good about yourself and your appearance before you go out the door. Booking a makeover or an appointment with a psychologist isn’t necessary. Sometimes all it takes is to be dressed for the occasion or even just to wear something you’re comfortable in, without trying too hard.
3.Make an effort to talk to people
If you’re not used to mingling and small talk, parties can be daunting. Give yourself a set time to stay at the party and an achievable goal like making contact and exchanging details with at least one person. If you’re completely new to the world of mingling, even a goal of just speaking to 3 or 4 people could be a good start. Talk to both men and women, regardless of your sexual preference. You never know who might end up introducing you to the man or woman of your dreams.
4.Choose your words wisely
A good introduction can involve asking the person you’re talking to where they met your host or asking them if they’ve been to the place before. You can also talk about other things to do with the actual party – the food, the drinks, etc., though complaining is probably not advisable (you never know, the person you’re speaking to could have baked that awful cake!). We all tend to talk about the weather when meeting new people, but it’s a subject that’s best abandoned once the conversation gets going. Asking questions and inviting people to talk about themselves is a good way to get them involved. Finding out more about the person you’re talking to could also open the way to all kinds of reasons to stay in touch, which could be much less threatening than asking them on a date.
In general, it’s best not to spend all your time talking to just one person. If you think you’ve found someone you’re interested in, spend some time with them, but try to (politely) go off and speak to more people as well. If you like the person, you can apologise and say you’re enjoying their company but feel that you ought to mingle some more and not hog all of their party time. This could be a good time to ask for the person’s details so you could stay in touch (“in case we don’t get a chance to talk again here”).
If you’re talking to someone and want to leave, don’t leave them on their own, as that’s not considered polite. Wait till someone else turns up or, if it looks like no one’s likely to turn up and draw you or the other person away, sneakily suggest going somewhere else in the room where more people congregate (to the bar to get another drink, for example) so you could safely leave the other person in the company of others.
7.Pay attention to signals
Outright staring may be freaky, but glancing discreetly every once in a while to see if the person you’re talking to is looking tense or is scanning the room for a possible escape can come in handy for determining whether or not you’re doing well. If it looks like the person is bored, you can excuse yourself and attempt to leave them alone. This way you’re being polite and also giving them a chance to stop you, in case you’ve misread the signals.
Make an effort to remember the names of people you’re talking to, so if you see them again at another party you can carry on talking. If you can’t – that’s no problem either. You can save yourself by simply apologising and saying you’re bad with names. Most people will understand.
If may be a cliché, but you really have nothing to lose by going up and speaking someone, even if you think they are out of your league. If they make it clear they are not interested, you’re right back where you started and if things go well, you’ll be far better off.
If you’re going somewhere with the intention of meeting people, it’s good to be prepared. Personal business cards could come in handy and some people even put their social media information on them nowadays, as that’s often considered a toned down way of asking for someone’s phone number. Alternatively, you could use your phone to exchange numbers or pick up a card from the person you’re talking to. In all cases, follow up a couple of days later – a timeframe that’s neither too keen nor too lax.