Yet no matter how you feel about being a single parent, it shouldn’t mean that you have to stay on your own. Read a few pointers that have been suggested for single parents.
- Meeting at children’s events: This is definitely the easiest way to meet others in your situation. My lovely friend Lizzie told me that what was particularly good about meeting the fellow she has now been with for several years was that there was no need to pretend. It was obvious from the start that both of them had their own children, and they immediately knew the pressures that put upon them all. She got to know Phil slowly in a completely non-threatening environment and the children also knew each other from the start.
- Seeing Phil interact with his children was so important, she knew straight away that she felt happy with his approach.
- Lizzie said that even then they were nervous as anything about their first date. They just met for lunch and bantered away for ages without having to think about the little ones who were at school.
- After that it was a few more lunches and walks during the day before they even contemplating going to each others’ houses. She said it felt very old fashioned, almost like her grandparents used to talk about, but that she loved it that way too.
- Another friend, Pete, has two little daughters and he said that he couldn’t even contemplate how he’d find time to meet someone, while dedicating his time to his job and his children. Pete used us at Parship to help him find a partner and he was completely upfront about the girls taking priority in his life. He said it was a couple of months before his now wife came to the house. They’d meet up when the children were already busy at their clubs, or at school and he said he had to be very confident of their relationship before introducing Sue to the girls. Pete said he ate in more cafes during that time than at any other in his life.
- Pete and his three girls now go most places together with plenty of cinema trips and even a season ticket to the zoo.
We got together a few thoughts between us all to help you prepare for a very different dating scene than when you were single without children.
These are the top five:
Take it easy.
You won’t want to get it wrong and you certainly want to be confident before you introduce a new partner to the children.
Expect the guilt kick.
You are almost certain to feel a little guilty, but if you expect it from the outset it will be easier to cope with.
Lunch somehow has a lot less pressure to it than dinner.
After all if it’s not working out you can always dash back to work or home, but try not to do that as a panic reaction.
Instead of going dancing maybe go walking for the first couple of times. Exploring what you’re both about is so important to you now.
Be sure the children won’t be inconvenienced while you go dating.
Their introduction to your new partner will be very important and you don’t want resentment before you start.
There are so many dating agencies you could approach you could be bewildered, but a company with the time and experience of Parship with give you a great start as our personality profile is designed specifically to help you find a partner you’ll hit it off with.
It won’t be easy dating as a single parent, but get it right and it could make your whole life easier, and happier, in the longer term.