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The fascination of authenticity

The greatest expectation before a date comes with the question, does the person we will meet suit the picture we have made within the course of e-mails and phone calls exchanged? Has he been honest or has he played a role? Have we actually listened carefully or has it just been our wishful thinking and expectations?

The fascination of authenticity

If the image fits reality, we are relieved because we have the feeling we have not been deceived - either by ourselves or by the other part. We have the feeling of having met an authentic person. But what exactly is authenticity and why is it so attractive?

Living in harmony

Authenticity could also be another term for "balance". Authentic people live in harmony with themselves and their values, which means that what they do and say, fits to what they feel and what is important in life. These people do not adjust themselves to please others, because they have enough self-confidence to distinguish themselves from the expectations of others. Even if they are at odds sometimes, they are pretty much at peace with themselves.
All of this means that they are particularly reassuring to us and we feel comfortable and safe in their presence. It is therefore not surprising that authentic people are often highly desired. A person who provokes such a comfortable feeling in us, we would like to have on our side.

Magic is contagious

You might know it from dealing with children: with them you are relaxed and reflected and you censor your own actions much less than in the company of adults. The reason is that children are very clueless and naïve with themselves and the world around them. They follow their instincts, try things and make mistakes without being embarrassed. We are equally relaxed in the company of an authentic adult. They give us the feeling that they accept themselves with all their strengths and weaknesses - and that in turn gives us the feeling that we can also do the same. So authenticity can be contagious.

Can it be acquired?

In fact, the path to an authentic life is not always easy and often quite uncompromising. You cannot please everybody. And only those who have ceased to want it have an open way to authenticity. We cannot "pretend as if” because if someone is genuine or plays a role, is intuitively noticeable quite quickly.
Someone who is looking for a partner that really suits him should give great importance to not pretend. This is not easy in a world that is shaped to be quite a perfectionist and apply the unattainable beauty ideals. Someone who wants to be genuine has to know who he is - or at least know where he can find himself and therefore lead their life by their own values. Above all, one should not say what others want to hear or what will make him "popular”. Have your own mind and opinion – people will love you for it!
 

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