When we look at our friends they can often make dating look so easy, they’re easy going, they know what to say and they’re confident.
Dating can be stressful, but to turn stress into success we need to think about how we remove that stress and turn it into at least a degree of confidence. Certainly a confident male is a more attractive male, and generally the same applies to women too.
This can all sound like wonderful fantasy when we need a boost – so how do we do that?
As with so many things, it’s all about preparation. Pretty much everything here is about doing your groundwork, and whether you’re male or female, you can do this:
• Be confident in your physical appearance – buy some new clothes that make you look great, it’ll immediately make a huge difference to how you feel. Get your hair done, or cut. And pay attention to the smaller details, fellows – check your nails! Both sexes – teeth and shoes, easy to forget, but very easy to notice, and a real turn-off if bad. If you need to ask a friend how you look – and listen to them!
• Know your own winning formula – what are you good at, what do you get off on talking about? What is most interesting about you? If you don’t know ask a good friend. Keep the answer in mind and practise using it.
• Know your common ground – what connects you to other people? Remember to talk about these things rather than some obscure comics or choral music you may be into
• Consider what you may know about the person you want to date, and find out a bit more about those things so that you have something in mind to talk about
• Think about asking people on dates that involve doing things, even if it’s just a walk. It takes the pressure off having to talk too much.
• Finally – know all the details about the actual date if you’re doing the planning. Think about transport for both of you, book everything, maybe even think in advance about what you’ll eat or drink. Leave nothing to chance and you’ll have less to worry about.
And when you’re on a date:
• Listen – do no more than half of the talking, and ideally less. Be interested in what your date is saying and use some of their points to lead the conversation.
• Positivity – be up beat! No matter what. Singing the blues may be cool, but no one wants to be dragged down by their first date with someone.
• Smile – it goes with the positive attitude and actually makes you feel better.
If the next date doesn’t work, remember, it’s not the end of the world, just consider it to be good practice and learn from what went wrong. But let’s hope such advice isn’t necessary and you have a great time together.