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From a date to a relationship

The single stigma exists for men too

As this is a dating site and often full of articles dealing with issues to do with relationships, dating and how to find a partner, I do like to remind people every once in a while that being single is also absolutely fine.

The single stigma exists for men too

ust because you want to ultimately find someone doesn’t mean you can’t derive pleasure from being single. I enjoyed reading this post talking about the need for women to move away from the stereotype of the sad single woman and sharing some information about women who are more relaxed about the whole thing. Much of the negativity associated with being single is based on the idea that women over a certain age are considered “unwanted” or less attractive. In the post, the author asserts that this is the case much more with women than with men and goes about encouraging us women to rethink such matters, which is great.

I agree that with women things are more problematic in some ways. The children issue is a big contributing factor, as I’ve written here before. We are often told that our ultimate fulfilment must lie in marriage and starting a family and as we move closer to an age where that may not be as easy, or indeed, not possible, we may feel that our options are dwindling. This is something men don’t have to contend with. But being a single man above a certain age is not necessarily that great either. There’s even a small reference to that in the piece itself, with a woman quoted as saying that while women can appear less attractive to men by being too successful and independent, while society assumes that men over a certain age are in some way not successful enough. After all, we’ve all heard the ones about single men over 40 being either broken or taken, right? While men get the benefit of being able to play around for longer, society does expect them to settle down and start a family before the hairline starts receding and catapults them into ageing playboy territory.

And in case you’re wondering, men do worry. I get contacted by men all the time who are in their late 30s, 40s and even 50s and are feeling pressured and misjudged by society because they happen to be single.

Personally, I think we’d do well to avoid stereotyping and judging people for being single and especially judging ourselves. After all, if you assume all single men (or women) your age are going to be damaged goods, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. You’re also, in a way, secretly judging yourself and making yourself feel bad for nothing. I think it’s far better to accept and allow people to simply be and trust in the power of the universe to deliver you the right person at the right time…With some active work on your part, of course.

Shimrit Elisar Written by Shimrit Elisar
Parship GmbH

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