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Avril's dating advice

Dating Potential or Maybe Friends

Really good friends are hard to come by. Never underestimate dating as a way of perhaps becoming maybe friends. Just because the all important chemistry is missing, you may well be able to develop into a more maybe friends relationship.

Dating Potential or Maybe Friends

So, you’ve met up on for your first date here on Parship.ie. You both get on well, share laughter and have general interests in common. However, just because you get on well together does not mean that both of you will want to take your first date experience from maybe friends to a more serious committal relationship.

Maybe, that all important ingredient of chemistry wasn’t there. Maybe, you just weren’t physically attracted to them even though they made you howl with laughter. So, what do you do next? Move on or perhaps become maybe friends?

Here are your three points to consider:

  1. I’ve said it before; humour is a huge part in developing chemistry. OK, so maybe your date doesn’t look like they’ve stepped off a catwalk photoshoot, but a shared sense of humour and having fun together is really what the good stuff is all about. Don’t dismiss based on visual looks only!
  2. So, you’ve both decided that it’s not going to work out for whatever reason (children, deal-breakers, chemistry etc.) but you share other important values and interests that could build a deep friendship. My advice here is that as long as you BOTH agree on the expectations of the friendship, then what is wrong with sharing your current life experiences together and could actually become really good friends in the end.
  3. The flip side of point two is if one friend has higher expectations of the friendship. OK, so we must all be aware there is a difference between ‘romantic flirting and "friend-flirting".

I’m a natural flirty person, so there is a tendency that I could possibly lead men on when I am likely to be totally oblivious. People often ask me the difference between flirting with friends and flirting with someone you are genuinely interested in. Have you ever been a victim of thinking someone was interested in you, only to find out that they were "friend-flirting"? My advice here is it’s all about the intention of your action. Yes, be flirty but try and be conscious of how others could pick up your messages. There are some people that you will always want more than what you are prepared to give. If you are getting that feeling from someone, limit your time with them because for a true friendship there must be a balance in expectations.

Author: Avril Mulcahy, Dating Expert www.singlelista.ie

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